Carry Your Own Weather
Lesson 28: Learning To Control Your Emotions Is Directly Proportional to Your Growth
In life, external factors often feel like storms—chaotic, uncontrollable, and overwhelming. Whether it’s difficult colleagues, challenging circumstances, or unexpected setbacks, we may find ourselves reacting impulsively. However, the ability to “carry your own weather,” as Stephen Covey emphasizes in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, is essential to personal growth and emotional intelligence. This phrase refers to maintaining control over your emotions, regardless of external circumstances.
Covey’s insight lies in the distinction between being reactive and proactive. Reactive people allow their environment to dictate their emotions and actions. Proactive individuals, however, focus on what they can control—their attitudes, responses, and choices. This practice of self-regulation fosters stronger relationships, reduces stress, and ensures effectiveness in all aspects of life.
In my A-levels, I had the privilege of leading the prefectorial body, the highest student office. As Head Prefect, I held significant authority, including the power to administer punishment directly without consulting teachers. One night, past midnight, I discovered some Senior 1 students playing loudly in the dormitory after lights out, disturbing others. Furious, I administered about 10 lashes to each of them. Though their actions warranted discipline, I realized later that I had acted out of anger and overstepped the bounds of good leadership.
While I excelled in many areas of leadership, controlling my emotions was a challenge. Reflecting on that season, I recognize that being entrusted with such authority at a young age exposed my immaturity in handling emotions. Thankfully, I have grown since then, but I remain on a journey of continuous improvement in managing emotions in work, relationships, and life.
Why Controlling Your Emotions Matters
- Emotional Resilience in Relationships: Relationships thrive when individuals manage their emotions effectively. Controlling your emotions means responding thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively, fostering trust and understanding.
- Stability at Work: In high-pressure environments, emotional self-control helps you make clear decisions, navigate conflicts, and maintain professionalism, no matter the chaos around you.
- Inner Peace in Life: Life’s unpredictability can only affect you as much as you allow it. By mastering your internal state, you maintain peace even in turbulent situations.
How to Control Your Emotions
- Pause Before Reacting: Practice the art of pausing when faced with emotionally triggering situations. Take a moment to assess the situation before responding.
- Focus on Your Circle of Influence: Covey teaches us to focus on what we can control, rather than wasting energy on external factors. Shift your energy to areas where you can make an impact.
- Rely on the Holy Spirit for Guidance: For Christians, prayer and seeking the Holy Spirit’s guidance provide strength and wisdom to respond with grace and clarity in emotionally challenging moments.
- Develop Emotional Intelligence: Self-awareness and empathy are key. Recognize your emotional triggers and understand the emotions of others to respond with clarity and composure.
- Anchor Yourself to Core Values: Let your principles and values guide your actions. When you’re grounded in your values, external circumstances have less power to sway your emotions.
Controlling your emotions doesn’t mean suppressing them—it means mastering them. It’s about leading with intention rather than being led by circumstances. This practice empowers you to build better relationships, thrive at work, and cultivate inner peace.
How will you take charge of your emotions today?
In case you missed lesson 27, you can read it here.
Ivan Kabandize